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schizo vent IX: walking through the neighborhood
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By:
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MrsLovett
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Mood:
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satanic
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Date:
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May 5, 2008, 10:23 PM
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Music:
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None
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it was a beautiful bright sun shiney day.
so i took a walk through the neigborhood...
children playing all around
laughter filling the air
games of innocence and pretend
can i remember such a time
a place
a warmth that i can't name
a window,
an open window appears to me
of a house i've passed more than once
from the wind the curtains escape
flapping in such an inviting way
lulling the silent sounds from within
i need not approach to see
my eye carries me without a motion
to witness another childish game
one well known to many peers
an act of hope, a dream, of growing up to be
a nurse, a patient, a doctor with his fancy kit
a girl, a boy, another girl
playing clearly the roles that are set
because a girl is a girl that can't be a doc
as a guest she respects
the fact that the youngest
is the nurse 'cause she's the guest
a play you would recognize
she's sick, she's hot, she's gonna die
trusting, she lets the doctor do his job
he feels her head as the nurse checks the temp
she shakes her head with such woe
then gives the doc a small tool
he bangs her knees and makes her say "ah"
then feels her stomach for the cause of pain
it tickes,she laughs, he takes note
the doc points to the door
the nurse grabs her doll
and heads out
now alone only two
boy and girl
patient and doc
i hear a distant rumble in the sky
the sun is gone
the warmth has vanished
this is uncomfortable to be alone
alone with him
she knows this is not good
panic
i panic
panic can't breathe
i've been here before
i know this scene
i know these kids
this house
this game
that boy that girl i know their names
i'm going to run
i won't endure this again
but i'm stuck in this moment that i must relive
the girl she doesn't want to stay
the sun the shine the happy day
outside is where she wants to go
"NO! further examination is needed
no you're sick here i'll look"
he said with such doctor dictation
a guest she is to play the part
a guest respects
so she was taught
still she lies upon the bed
she obeys
soon this that feels so weird will end
how she's so still i'll never know
as i watch his hands
my horrow grows
this is not right this cannot be
they are kids they are kids
i don't want to see
i clearly view what is so plain
a boy acting a man
playing an adults' game
she knows not what he does
she can't be there
she only watches the curtains flap in the air
but i know i know
i am there
i know the pain the despair
the death of innocence
that i cannot stop
the torture the loss
the ability to never feel
i know this little girl
who will never heal
the one who lives inside my head
the busy streets of my neighborhood
the girl that longs only to be dead
the boy he lives
he comes and goes
a master of pretend
he pretends away the years
like nothing ever happened
for her to be so silent all these years
and as i finally can turn to go
the streets are empty
the darkness grows
i will remember her
the girl knows
she cries for my return
to witness the time
the day
the moment when the sun lost meaning
and the darkness began
i'm not sure where i intended to go with any of this. just passages that have been in my head for about a month now. nothing that makes a whole lot of sense to someone else's eyes. it sounds different in my head and comes out in nonsense. it's not poetry though it starts to rhyme. i think thats just natural rythem taking over. its far from some great piece of work. but anywho...its finally out. and i'm sure i'll revisit one day because i can be quite the perfectionist but i suppose until then its just madness...anywho...
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