It's Coming.

I can’t make it go away..
No matter how hard I try, no matter how strong my will becomes
There will always be this piece of me that is ready for the end
Rotting away in my mind like a cancerous tumor, consuming everything in it’s path
Frustration is mounting, like the magma below a volcano on the brink of disaster
I can hear the voices strolling around my thoughts, wanting to be let out
Clawing at my mind like a prison of eternal torment, I give way..
There’s nothingness now, all I can see is black, no stars, no sky, no ground..
What’s going on? Can you hear them barking? The hounds…the Hounds of Hell…
The masses form into legions of the greatest army ever assembled throughout time, and no time..
The blood on the battlefield is fresh, barely old enough to have the red pigment from it’s exposure to oxygen…
Why? What have I done? Where will I go? What am I to become? The answers so frighteningly clear that even the sun cannot release me from the darkness the truth holds..
It’s coming, inch by inch, the fall of man…The torment you’ve all been dreading since the filth began spreading it’s plague…
I wait and listen, high on my perch, like a lion surveying it’s domain…Here, in this hell, I am king..and the war is magnificent..



Sanity

Sanity

Here we are again old friend
Take a walk with me through that which I cannot claim anymore
Let us ponder upon days past, when the grass was green, the flowers had a beautiful smell, and the water felt cool running out of your palms
Tell me, can you recall a moment in time when it all seemed new? When the simplest things brought the smile to your face?
It seems somewhere along the way, in this travel through the millennia, I grew tired of the existence I was forced to lead
An eye for an eye would be the most proper term for my revenge, an abused child for an abused adult, an endless life, to never feel for what I’ve been given
The hands are dealt, and the cards lay in my favor, some come with me old friend, as we walk one last time, through the landscapes of what I lost..for this is the end…


Untitled

What does it feel like to know there is nothing left in this world untouched by the hand of death?
Is there any solace in the eventual cease of pain, misery, and fear?
Do you cry out to your “God” with your last dying breath?
Or will you continue to run in terror of the unknown that awaits you on the other side?
The end is near, the apocalypse is now. Your money, your greed, your fear, is all worthless.
Your children will be murdered in front of your eyes, while you stand there with no emotions.
Your parents will be decapitated, with their heads placed on spikes upon the walls of the great ruins of a civilization so far gone that not even the gods themselves could save you.
Run my pet, flee from this world. End your life quickly, or there will be nothing but pain when your heart stops beating.
Nothing but shame when your tears no longer fall.

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This is to tell you that I will not help you with your magic studies. I will not help you with your life problems. I will not be there as a friend. I will not be someone you can count on in rough times. I will not expect any kindness shown to me because I will not show it to you.

I am cutting everyone off on the "Let's ask what J would do!" department. I am no longer here to give you advice and you will have to fend for yourself.

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What is with all of you people taking false sigils as your own? Do half of you even know which demon goes with which sigil? Do any of you even speak to these demons? Honestly now, I have seen females claiming Belial's sigil!!!!! Belial is more in touch with males than females. He respects brotherly and father/son bonds, not women. The only woman, or demon, that he would ever even bow to is Lilith yet you people still go around claiming his sigil and putting it all over some of your shit.

False claimers and pathetic attempts to fit in seem to be the norm for a lot of the people that I have come across. Honestly now, if you are going to take a demonic sigil as your own, why don't you do some research on the damn thing before you do!

The sigil that I have on my page is an edited version of Astaroth's, which, I have gotten the go ahead from him to use as my own. Hell, I even got a "Thank you" from the demon of war with all of the things I have done for him out of pure respect and not expecting anything in return.

The point of this blog is to basically tell you people to stop being ignorant fools and research the shit you claim before you decide to claim it. If you do not, it could get you hurt, or made to look like a fool. The choice, is yet again, yours.

Brother J

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Do you understand what is given to you people? Do you understand that you all have some sort of power, although most is the very minimum. You all can control your destiny, so why are you not acting upon such things?

You live your lives like they are your given right, like you were supposed to be on this world and no one can take that from you due to the fact that you exist. You are wrong. Your lives can be taken from you just as quickly as they were given. Do you know why? Because humans, meatbags, and pathetic beings are all the same things, they are mortal and fail to acknowledge what is truly in this realm. You people think God gave you this life? You think Satan gave you it? No, you pathetic fools. There are only a few that were given direct life from the deities and most of you are not them.

The fact that you are mortal, means that anyone can take your life and should never feel bad about doing so. This has been going on forever, and it will always go on as long as humans are around. So why are you bitching about all the killings in the wars, the death penalty, and the other random "murders" that happen from day to day? Because you are too blinded by society and it's views on life to realize that we are all just animals. We are nothing more and never will be anything more.

Face it, you are all doomed. Why fight for precious time when it means nothing? Give in, open your eyes and believe that you are here, because you are here. No other reason.

Brother J

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Pain

The feelings of disgrace
Cause my heart to race
As I look you in the face
My anger begins to rise,quickly in it's pace

The hurt I have felt
The torment of which I have dealt
Has caused my soul to melt
It slides away from this lifeless pelt

It hurts inside
I feel as if I should hide
However, I still keep my stride
For I will atleast end it with pride

Happily Ever After

Since we've met
Everything sad I seem to forget
You've erased so much despair
And I now live without a care

I used to run from my fears
And now that I have you, there will be no tears
Everytime we speak, everything falls into place
And all the words flow from me with such grace

So much alike
And yet different enough to work
The past has brought many to me who spite
But for both of us there will be no more hurt...

Never again...


Fire...

Burning through the night
Letting off the faintest light
Causing pain to those who near
Instilling in us all, a hint of fear

Born of this I rise again
Seems as if it's my only friend
So into this I wander through
In hope of finding something new


The Reaper

Figure in black
Scythe in hand
Clothed in shadow
Soul collector for man

Causing death
From darkness
Stilling my last breath
LEaving my eyes sparkless

Hell in his eyes
He is the grim reaper
With his touch we all die...
For he is the soul keeper

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Addictions

Angry,enraged
Missing,a torn page
Life,death
Smoking,ha,my meth

Addiction, it's all
Lined up,to fall
These things,are me
And with them,I'm free

Drinking,snorting
Last chance,I'm resorting
To my last, line of hope
A strong,tightened rope

Nothing more,nothing less
Been ignored,been blessed
I've had nothing,and had it all
This life,was set up to fall

Fuck This Shit

Fuck these feelings
Weakness and doubt
I need to be healing
I need to let them out

It's killing me inside
Falling into sorrow
These things I still hide
Will leave me dead tomorrow

So with one final day
My life slowing down
I am passing away
And slipping to the ground

But fuck it all, it was worth the pain
Worth the tears, worth the time
Forsaken I know, my tears fall like rain
Over and over I would commit this murder, this crime

For saving her life, was the one thing that keeps me here now. The only feelings that keep me sane. The feeling of being needed,wanted, and loved...

I Bleed

Running the blade across my chest
Cutting and ripping
Carving and skinning
I bleed...

The knife jabs into my back
Piercing and stabbing
Digging and twisting
I bleed...

It would have been much more welcome..
If only it dug into my eyes
And cut them out
I bleed...

Moral is...It would have been much easier for me to deal if you had cut out my eyes instead of stabbing me in the back..Atleast then I could have seen what was coming...

The Awakening

I feel it growing
And everyone is knowing
We feel a presence
And familiar is it's essence

The good, the bad
We will deal with whatever is to be had
You cannot help but feel unnerved
So I search for the secrets to unearth

Our powers begin to progress
Embrace them, for you are blessed
To deny the darkness is to deny your fate
We will change this world full of hate

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Abaddon

In the darkness, the truth is brought to our attention, we need to take back this world with any means be it death and destruction. Abbadon will rise and bring fourth his followers, and we will rule, in the name of our lord...HAIL SATAN

the great detroyer

the bringer of locust

the king of the abyss

we wait the damned day when we must

attack our rivals and be smart to not miss

somebody wake me from this dream

and show me the true way, the true scheme

Chorus I

for as we lie

and await the day of judgement

we will not be the ones to die

we have the power, we have the force

and we will use every last resource

our will is strong

and we hold to our bond, no matter how long

the fire will sprout from the ground

the flames will engulf the catholics

we will bring down our fist with the speed of hellhounds!

and rid this world of the truly wicked!

they will all bow, while we slaughter other christians

for we are a found youth, we have been found and chosen for this mission!

the false righteous, the sinners and the wicked

they are all in fear of our power, but they wont admit it

Chorus II

the day is now, the time has come

and we will rise from under their oppresive thumb

for we are the true rulers, after years of hate

we know what to do, and we gladly meet that fate

lord satan has asked us to aid him in his goal

so we join the cause, and raise the number of this covenant

and soon we will disband this facist government!

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Carpe Diem
take what is ours
during the daylight hours
when the night comes
our reign will have already begun

the battle rages
through the ages
this time it is the four lord's turn
to watch the earth as it burns

blood smeared
have no fear
runes of ancient
will reward our patience

and we will take what is ours
during the daylight hours...



Persona Non Grata
forced down upon me
not given time to breathe
you are here for one reason
to cause pain through the seasons

you are a lie
you've caused millions to die
and yet you don't care
how can you stand it? so much to bare

upon a cross you left your son
when he was the only one
to beleive your lies
and mask you with this disguise

the world hates those of us who know the truth
that you are about to hang from your noose
which you should've done when your followers first began to come...
God, the unwelcome person...



Night Of Succubi
extreme
unclean
your came in a dream

begun
to succump
the succubus comes

awake at night
i start with a fright
as i bask in it's darklight

pleasure
pain
beyond measure, insane






Ashes To Ashes, Dust To Dust

Intro-

Abandoned

abused

despondent

used

destroy my soul

rip out my heart

break into the tomb of old

give this magick a kickstart

Verse I

the beauty

the unbeleivable wonder

the gorgeous sight

the sound of thunder

the storm rolls in

the clouds thicken and grow

the rain poors down

and suddenly, everyone knows...

Chorus I

the pain

the pleasure

the abilities in my brain

are beyond measure

to pay the cost

to decay and rot

it is worth the loss

if i am ever caught

Verse II

the hail falls like a bomb

heavy, hard, destruction its only purpose

it causes chaos

and everyone gets nervous

a figure stands still

in the middle of the road

arms raised high

and fully robed

Chorus II

murder

mayhem

a somber

daemon

the crypt

the honor

ive slipped

before my father

Verse III

he beckons the storm forth

to bring all its might

to do his bidding

oh..the gorgeous sight......

Outro

i have broken down

ive summoned a beast

as my blood hits the ground

the spirits will feast

my corpse is done

ive been dealt out my lashes

the whips, the agony, its such fun

dust to dust, ashes to ashes

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Alone

To walk the world alone

no place for me to call home

the thirst for blood awakens me

and i rush to find the prey i seek

i need to feast

i need to eat

to sustain myself

through this eternal hell

the light, oh how i wish to see it, how i yearn

but with one quick touch, my flesh it begins to burn

for i am damned to stay in the darkness

the thing that provides power, which i harness

the centuries are a blur

i have loved, and lost her

we could not be together

because i, will live forever

the lonely road i chose

is one i wish not even my enemies to know

for this is no life to live in

as i walk through the streets of oblivion...


Demonic Respect

Death,destruction

what is in my path will be razed to the ground

pain, suffering

the victims cry out as i release the hounds

decay,corruption

i smell it as i pry open the tomb

a cryptic coffin

i ripped it right from the woom

open the box,let it out

i relish in the sight of this power

unlock, the hidden

i summon it forth in the midnight hour

noble, honorable

the demon shall arise

somber,calm

it sees the fire in my eyes

it obeys,it listens

it follows my every command

not from fear, not from force

but from respect from its fellow demon at hand




Wounds

a bone heals

a bruise fades

but this scar

lasts till my dying days

a follower kneels

a knight crusades

but a lord

rules over all his way

the weak plead

the poor beg

but soon now

the towers will sway

the high will fall

the wealthy will call

noone will answer

and they take the poor's place

the christians pray

every day

they get nothing

but a feeling of emptiness

the satanic act

we step out of the shadows

we claim what is ours

and hang the weak from the gallows

the call has been made

so grab your arms

raise your fists

sound the alarm

we fight tonight

for what is right

the damage is done

so be relentless now..

remember..

a bone heals

a bruises fades

but this scar

lasts till our dying days...





Nosce Te Ipsum (Know Yourself)

know your truths
know your weaknesses
know your strengths
for without this knowledge
you could be hanging on with the shortest length

the strain
the torment
long gone
despondent
you could be setting yourself up,not to float,but to sink

cryptic knowledge
known by few
morbid,bloodshed
its in plain view
know yourself, and do not forget

butchery
brutalized
you let it go
hallowed eyes

coffin
in a tomb
dust settles down
a sad, rushed, doom
you forgot your self

honor
death
pleasure
the cost
you abused it all, look what you've los

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Untitled

Am I this person you think I am
Do I hide myself from you?
What do you know about me
I am,in my mind, truely damned
I do not think I can start anew
But you, you are begining to help me see
I feel your pain,night and day
my moods have changed to reflect
I love you,I want these thoughts
I wouldn't have it any other way
It is something I have become to expect
I love every minute,the happiness, and the times we've fought
Things will get better, they always do
I just want you to know..
That I love you...


Home

Ever feel the need to just snap?
Ever want to let your emotions go?
Does it really matter that I deal with this crap?
I am wise, I am mature beyond my years, I should know.
Still I am plagued with the thoughts of a teen rebillion.
Still I am filled with the anger of others.
Am I meant to be nothing more than another Hellion?
Do I only show fondness to my close friends and lovers?
Why do I allow myself to feel like this?
Why does the immature bother me so much?
I couldn't really careless,this means less than two squirts of piss.
But with everytime I come across someone, everytime I touch
I feel a hatred growing as soon as my sights are set
They do not know what is coming, they do not know this fire that burns
If they did they would make sure we had never met
But still this fire takes control of me and makes me yearn
I want to kill, I want to make them pay for things that do not involve them
I want to cause as much sadness as I feel when I am alone
I want them to bow to me, and obey with my every wim
I want to leave this place, and find the right place that I can finally call home...
A place where it is me, and only me
A place where I can hide these feelings for eternity..


HOPE

Late at night I sit alone

The music plays, a somber tone

My body is scarred beyond repair

But you gave me a reason not to care

I was treated with hate, treated like dirt

You've caused this pain, caused this hurt

I feel something inside me dwell

These feelings of worthlessness, it is my hell

It's torture beyond measure

This darkness, it brings no pleasure

The hole you left is a bottomless pit

Made by you, with everytime I was hit

I was left broken, beaten, mentally abused

The tears ive shed double the blood, I was left confused

I didnt know it would hurt this bad

To be left this way, looking,feeling, so sad...

But a new light has shown

One brighter than ive ever known

They are rebuilding my faith

And have brought happiness through the days

At the mere thought, I smile without control

And they have slowly begun, to fill this hole...


My Wish

I wish I could spend every moment with you
every kiss, every thought, every breath you breathe
I wish I was there to hold you tight and protect you from this world
no pain,no sadness, no troubles to bother you in all your beauty
I wish this time spent apart could be doubled in time together
it hurts to know I am so far away, I just want to be there, with you, and cherish every moment we have...
This is...My Wish....


My Hell

Trapped in a hole
So dark and cold
My screams are echoed back to my ears
And the sorrow I feel is beyond my years
I am stuck,unable to move, unable to breathe!
My vision grows weak, why? what is this? Why can't I see!
What have you done? why am I here?
This hole has become the haven for all my fears!
They come to me stronger than ever
They know my body will rot here forever
My stomache growing hungry, my body feeling numb
I scatter the dirt on the floor,for a small piece, just a crumb
A mouse flickers by, I hear it squeak
Finally,something warm,something alive, something I can eat...
I run my fingers through the dirt and grime,feeling for this tastey flesh
I pick it up and squeeze it,breaking its neck, and I bite into it's flesh
The blood runs down my mouth, I rejoice in my happiness
The meal is done..what did I do? why have I become such a mess!
I would have rather died alone and starving
Then to have resorted to such desperate means
So I sit their scratching my flesh,punishing,carving
I begin to hear noises. something is coming. more living beings
I stand and scream at the top of my lungs
They are getting closer I hear them! where are they?
I feel the first bite..around my ankles...the rats come pouring in with the smell of blood
My body their feast, me helpless and outnumbered...
I crumble with the pain,they crawl up my sides
They chew on my ears...my tongue...my blood squirts freely..
My fingers chewed to the bone....my flesh being ripped from me
They move up my body,still breathing,still screaming, and they bite into my eyes...
This hole, this hell,if I could have only saved myself..
If only I had done something, If I had left it alone...
What is this? I am not dead?
Could it be? Was it all in my head?
No, I look around and find the hole to be my home once more
But how did I see these things? So real...so painful...
I hear it again...the little mouse...I bite into it again
The sounds start coming louder and louder...
This is my eternity...this is what I have been condemned to..
This is...My Hell


Memories

Cleaning the house I find
Things that bring past memories to my mind
Painful,pleasureful, the happy and the sad
A time in life, I thought I was mad
Now that I see what I have become
Now that I see that I am a chosen one
It all looks so minute,so minor
However, I cannot deny what I have had,oh the pleasure
These experiences have made me stronger
I bear no grudges,no hatred any longer
They made me who I am,the person you see before you
And they gave me a reason to start over new
I am who I am due to these memories
Without them, I wouldn't be who you see today...


There will be more to come soon...

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