|
Viewing 1 - 5 out of 5 Blogs.
HEY!!!! NO PEEKING!!!! I need to vent but I don't think I can make my blog private, now that I've started it....... Ssssoooo, I'm just gonna type this sentence and keep it all bottled up for now and later take it out on some poor unsuspecting loser who never saw it coming.
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- if your that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
12. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
13. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
14. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
15. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".
|
|
HAHAHA!
Posted On 08/22/2010 20:29:24
|
A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers the door. She proclaims "I want to join your biker club." The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asks her "You have a bike?" The little old lady says "Yea, that's my Harley over there" and points to a Harley parked in the driveway. The biker asks her "Do you smoke?" The little old lady says "Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool." The biker is impressed and asks "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?" The little old lady says "No, I've never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."
Tags: OLD LADY BIKER
Biker Mother of Six A biker's greatest achievement was his brood of six kids. He was so proud
that he continually called his wife: Mother of Six, which pissed her off a
lot. But he kept referring to her as Mother of Six no matter where they
went.
At end of a poker run, he shouted across the bar, "Hey, Mother of Six, you
ready to go home?"
His irritated wife screamed back: "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
Tags: Biker Joke
What to say, what ta say, hmmmm....Celebrating Rins B-Day tomorra. Burned out early at work. Hope nobody noticed. Did a 180 with my car in the valley, narrowly missed the oncoming vehicle. I have come to the comclusion that it's a better idea to call my boss when I'm late. Life lessons.......i get em a lot. Haven't been taken care of myself much and know better than that. I think two jobs that your not thrilled with will do that to a woman. Thinkin bout starting an upscale fat camp, but know I really won't follow through with it. Still is a good idea. Cha-Ching! Hmmm....that's about all I feel like bitchen about....for now. I have gotten my fix on this extremely boring website that I have rationalized the use of....even longer drawn out story.....ask if you juss wanna shoot the shit with me.
|
